Awards, Political Statements, and TMI November 10, 2009
Posted by EDW in health, Life, Rants/Diatribes, Social Commentary.Tags: awards, health, Life, Musings, Thoughts
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Yippee! I am the proud recipient of a blogging award, my first. The award was given to me by my muse of French-ness: Mo, of Me, Mo and Myself.
As a condition of this award, I’m supposed to tell you seven things about myself. I can’t resist the opportunity to make this list semi-germane to the ongoing healthcare debate/debacle in this country. So, here goes.
1. I do not have health insurance.
2. This is because good health insurance is too expensive. And even paying for the so-called “good” health insurance doesn’t guarantee that the insurance company will actually pay for the procedures recommended by your physician, as my mother has recently discovered.
3. Since I don’t have health insurance, I seldom visit the doctor, and have a general, vague distrust of the entire medical system. Fortunately, I am a very healthy person.
4. Unfortunately, it also means that I am occasionally compelled to perform my own feats of dermatology, e.g. removing suspicious-looking moles with nail scissors.
5. Sometimes I try to diagnose my occasional health concerns by google-ing my symptoms. This is a very, very bad idea that usually results in hypochondriacal fantasies of cancer, renal failure, or early-onset Ebola.
6. I don’t really like to take medicine. My cures for most problems are:
- A glass of wine.
- A nap.
- A hot bath.
- A hug.
- Cajoling my husband into massaging some part of my body.
7. I do believe that our government should do something about the current health-care situation in our country, because unless you’re either a gozillionaire or on Medicare/Medicaid, it sucks. I DO NOT, however, like the current plan being bandied about in Congress. I am particularly displeased with the idea that I will be REQUIRED to BUY insurance from the government or other provider, lest I face a fine or some other punitive action when and if I have to go to the doctor. Please, Congressmen. That is SO not what we were asking for.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go sit in a hot bath with a bowl of chocolate ice cream and a book. For my health, yo?
Crazy Shit My Neighbors Say (Mother’s Day Special) May 8, 2011
Posted by EDW in Life, Musings, My Crazy-Ass Neighbors, Rants/Diatribes, Social Commentary.Tags: anthropology, Crazy shit my neighbors say, eavesdropping, fights, Mother's Day, people, rednecks, sociology, theater
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So, I have these neighbors. Here’s what they have in their yard:
My neighbors’ yard kind of looks like this, only there’s a horse, too.
Their fights are of the cataclysmic, thermo-nuclear variety. They hurl epithets like sharpened tree branches, they kick holes in their door, they use the “n-word.” These fights happen on a weekly basis, and when I hear raised voices next door, I turn out all the lights and sit on my back steps, eavesdropping. I can’t help myself. I have a prurient obsession with my neighbors’ fights. Maybe it’s because I don’t watch television, and therefore suffer from a violence deficiency. Or maybe it’s because I could never come up with dialogue like this, never, no matter how hard I tried. Here’s a snippet from tonight’s episode.
HIM: You did that shit in fronta my MOM!
HER: (unintelligible shrewish shrieking)
HIM: This is just a repeat of last night. You’re just drunk and you can’t handle it. It’s the same thing all over again.
HER: (more of same shrewish shrieking)
HIM: Bitch! I didn’t steal nothin’ from you–I bought you cigarettes! And a lighter!
HER: (shrewishness, etc.)
HIM: (wheezing) Why? Why would I do that? You need to grow the hell up!
HER: Me! Grow up? At least I don’t destroy other people’s property! (enters house and slams door)
HIM: Oh no, you just destroy people’s lives!
~Fin~
And by “Fin” I mean that he got into his truck and peppered their house in a spray of gravel as he revved the engine and peeled out. Because that’s how things always end. And really, what other kind of ending is there?