11 Reasons I Wish I Were French April 16, 2008
Posted by EDW in Life, Polictics, Social Commentary, Things Environmental.Tags: Food, French people, French women, Humor, Life, Random, Thoughts, Wine
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1. The Air Car.
2. When angry or alarmed, the French get to say things like Mon dieu! or Merde! instead of “Fuck”, “Shit” or “Damnit all to hell”. Our curse words have been rendered meaningless by overuse, nevermind that they sound inelegant as cinder blocks rolling off the tongue.
3. French women have that “sexy” gene which kicks in at about age 14, and keeps on rocking until they’re 97.
4. French is a cool language. Native speakers sound eloquent and charming even when discussing the weather or the fact that someone needs to take out the garbage, s’il vous plait. Also, English sounds way more chic when seasoned with a French accent.
5. French food, while bewilderingly expensive in America, would be regular fare and I could eat it every day instead of just on special occasions. Also: cultural acceptance of wine at lunch.
6. France got over itself about conquering the world a couple centuries ago.
7. Cultural acceptance of female armpit hair. I hate shaving my pits, but consider it a patriotic duty. 
8. Do French people drink wine for breakfast? I bet they could, if they wanted to.
9. The 35-hour work week, loads of vacation time, and the prevailing idea that quality of life is more important than accumulating wealth.
10. The Euro.
11. The probability of international travel sans the scorn and derision that comes with being American. Especially post-Bush.
But, damnit all to hell, I’m not French. At least I had the good fortune to be born Texan.
I think that the only thing going for French people right now is the Euro. They’re probably as fed up with their being French as you seem to be with your being American. For the most part, French people are severely disgusting in many ways, have no class whatsoever and most definitely are not even half as attractive as you make them out to be. Class? Haha, only if you were born with the right etiquette, in the right setting, which is extremely rare to find in France.
You are bloody lucky to be an American.
Thanks for commenting, but maybe you didn’t read the link about the air car. The air car is cool. Cooler than our biofuel nonsense.
And have you ever eaten escargot? Truffles? I know I’m lucky to be American, and the grass is always greener somewhere else. But I still wish I were French.
I’d just be happy with #9.
aye! fellow texan. that southern hospitality is pretty hard to beat!
what’s with the “non shaving” reputation Mon God ! I swear we shave, at least I do…and all the girls I know too..
after spending 6 months of my life (which turned out to be the best time EVER) in Arkansas I learnt to love your country and your way of life … But I love being french too (eventhough we are often called names…lol) …wish I could be both …
You SHAVE?! Say it isn’t so! You ruin my image of the French Woman as the Modigliani nude – reclining, elegant, unshorn.
Arkansas IS great- I lived there for a year and a half and still tell people its the most underrated state in the U.S.
But back to the myth of the French – do you drink wine at breakfast? Oh, please tell me I’m not wrong about THAT one, too….
lol…first of all , thanks for stopping by my blog, I’m sorry about some stupid french who have wrong ideas about americans.. i guess stupid people are everywhere.
but then again im 25% italian lol.) I do drink wine though, and champagne, a LOT according to my swedish bf. But, it doesn’t mean it’s not possible !! 
I do shave ! eventhough i find it really boring to do and unfair, why would guys be allowed to be soo hairy? anyhoo about drinking wine at breakfast…i will have to say ..I don’t
have a great day !
aah..thank you so much for your comment, made me smile
I guess it’s like everywhere, some people are assholes and unfortunatly they are the people foreigners meet and then they come home asuming the whole country is full of jerks. I admit, people in Paris are not the warmest people at first when you need to get to know them, some will always be jackass, but some are just cold because they are shy or their english sucks (most of the time that option actually). I’m just glad I traveled enough not to have this kind of stereotypes. All the americans I know are the warmest, funniest, graetest people I have ever met !!
Randomly stumbled on your blog.. I am currently living in Paris for 8 weeks this summer and I used to wish I were French, also. All I have to say is that you should live a couple weeks here yourself (as a resident, not a tourist) before wanting to abandon your own awesome culture. There are certain aspects of their culture that are awesome, but living here as opened my eyes to other parts I wasn’t aware about. While I LOVE the history of this city, its beauty, and the language, it is definitely not enough for me to forget that I LOVE being American.
I think that you’re sexy. I tried that with an exclamation point but it just didn’t work. Maybe you’re French and don’t know it. Up here we have Texas Toast. Maybe you’re Texas French Toast. Well, I’m sure I’m toast. But I still like your blog!
Gary in NY
Ha! Thanks for reading, Gary!
EVERYBODY shaves
otherwise i’d like to be french, too… have a look at Francoise Hardy.
kinga,
Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment- I LOVE comments. but you’re wrong about everybody shaving. I quit shaving my pits about a year ago and I think they are super-cute. I still shave my legs.
I decided it doesn’t matter what my culture says: If I want hairy pits, I can certainly have them!
And that Francoise is a knockout! What I really want is that haircut!!
Ahaha oh my, we DO shave ! I don’t know why we have this reputation or why you would even find that attractive
About the guy (or girl) who commented : “French people are severely disgusting in many ways, have no class whatsoever and most definitely are not even half as attractive as you make them out to be. “, that is completely not true. I’m not saying this to be patriotic or anything but I’m french and lived in the US too and let me tell you french girls ARE a lot classier. It’s about beauty but the style/the way they dress and all.. I know I would never go to school in just sweatpants and a hoodie. I could, sure, but we just don’t do that – you dress well.
About the wine thing – we don’t drink it at breakfast haha, but you always can. But it’s true it’s culturally accepted – in restaurant if you’re with your parents, you can propably have wine/champagne when your 14. It’s not considered as “drinking” as such,.
Anyways, nice article, I hope you get the chance to see more about France – I like being french